Often when I tell a non-linguist that I’m doing a PhD in linguistics, they ask me how many languages I speak. As it happens, I speak a fair few; but I don’t have to. In fact, none of them have much direct bearing on my research. It’s a bit like asking a zoologist how many pets they have.
So anyway, here are some more things you can say to professionals to annoy them:
1) So how many languages do you speak?
2) Yeah, I’ve noticed that people’s English is getting worse and worse nowadays.
3) So what is the difference between linguistics and literature?
1) So you do all that Freudian stuff?
2) Are you analysing me right now?
So what do you think my sign is?
I’ve had this pain in …
So do you really believe things just came about by random chance?
I’ve had this toothache…
I’ll add some more later.